New Computer Viruses...

CHECK YOUR COMPUTER FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:
LEWINSKY VIRUS - sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS - quits after one byte
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS - your 300mb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100mb and then slowly expands to 200mb.
DR. JACK KEVORKAIN VIRUS - deletes all old files.
ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS - you can no longer insert disks into your computer.
TITANIC VIRUS - your whole computer goes down.
DISNEY VIRUS - everything in your computer goes Goofy.
PROZAC VIRUS - screws up your ram, but your processor doesn't care.
JOEY BUTTAFUCCO VIRUS - only attacks minor files.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS - terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back.
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS - turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.
VIAGRA VIRUS - turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive.